Let me keep it real with y’all —
If you know me [like really know me], you know that I am a writer. I write for solace, for love, for healing, for fun, for God, for friends, for everything. But to be perfectly honest, I don’t remember the last time I wrote anything.
I made it my duty to buy a new journal in every country (7) I’ve visited, but converted those jounrals into planners.
I guess that was me trying to gain some kind of control over my confusion.
I’ve battled the nuances of happiness and feeling accomplished, simultaneously realizing that I cannot let my success stress me bare. You’re not supposed to kill yourself while you’re attempting to build yourself.
I didn’t realize that my disengagement with writing was a sign that something was and is wrong. I thought I was growing out of an old hobby on this “new” journey.
Note to self: Bull Sh*t! You were just trying to hide your feelings from yourself, but you ain’t low, Na!
I almost thought about giving up on the blog because of my inconsistency, but that would just be me giving up on me! But I decided against it – I matter to me and my voice and presence is necessary.
trying to make making time for myself— diving into what makes me happy, and still on the grind without putting myself through the grinder. Finding time and space for me is so important!
Counting my wins. Glorifying my losses. Loving God always. And always leaving haters on read.
Note to self: I love you, Na! Remember that!
There are some days when my soul cries for some sensual 90’s music. I’m talking about the music that today’s artists sample because it is so authentic and smooth — I’m talking about the perfect mesh of Hip Hop and RnB.
iTunes has the perfect Mary J. Blige playlist! It is a didactic mix of breakup mix and motivational jams! Feel free to bump it in your car, while your curry is simmering on the stove or sing it at the top of your lungs in the shower. It’s your favorite Mary songs that will have you in and out of your feelings!
Just see for yourself!
no matter how many pintrest pdf’s i pin or saving challenges i adapt, I cannot seem to hold on to money to save my life
research has shown that i budget better when im broke. i guess i am forced to ration my money.
but growing up, i was taught that money wasnt promised – that it grew on trees but could be hard to fine sometimes. so get what you want when you can because you cant take your money with you.
The hood ain’t 4 sale …
… is low key a mantra that plays in my head every time I walk past a new building or coffee shop with an artistic renditions of Biggie or Basquiat on the wall. The simple fact that I can’t seem to face is that Harlem as we knew it or know it is changing and GENTRIFICATION seems unstoppable.
Of course gentrification has it perks, of which I will not list because I’m not here for it and I’m sure there are folks who’ve created long list to counter act their gentrifying guilt. Nonetheless, gentrification is taking us by storm and we need to remind gentrifiers that our people spent too much time building our communities and cultural enclaves for them to be bombarded with bars and strangers who are unfamiliar with our history and contemporary issues.
More to come on Thursday, July 11th!
“The Hood Ain’t 4 SALE.” Sample Tote
Where motivation is a mood & a lifestyle!
#DreamQueens by the Dream Analyst is a collective of self identified women encouraging and enabling women of color and our allies as we each embark on our individual journey towards unbreakable confidence and self made coins! While every women is completely capable of identifying and activating their own power and potential, there’s nothing like having a motivating squad behind and beside you during your marathon! If you’re in search of #GirlGang that is committed to celebrating and elevating women everywhere, especially women of color, join us!
What to expect:
Meet Ups – Apparel – Art – Dream Mobilization Consultations & MORE!
Join the mailing list to get updates on our official launch*
I hadn’t experienced life enough to make the art I make now. Before I wanted my art to be seen as perfect. Now I simply want people to feel it – to look at it and feel me.
I have the anxiety of 1000 possums.
Dear people who have watched me for years, but never talked to me
Dear people who think a PWI has brainwashed me
Dear people who think I am not black enough anymore
Dear people who think I am too liberal
Dear people who seldom ask how I am doing, but assume I am floating in the wind
Dear ex lovers who think I owe them things
And #11, just because I am extra tight —
#11: People keep asking me why I am single — I don’t freaking know! Maybe I am over qualified.
I am not an Angry Black WOMAN. I am just a Black Woman who happens to be MAD!
*THESE ARE IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER. I DONT KNOW HOW TO RANT IN ORDER.
To be perfectly honest, we are out here killing the game and don’t have time to waste!
When it comes to the question of what’s being brought to table in relationships, most women are bringing the actual table…why else would my purse be so big! So the question becomes, what are you [men] bringing to the table that is as substantial? Or what are you striving to bring to the table?
I’ve been told that being a strong, outspoken, black women can be intimidating. But like the amazing Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie said, “I have no interest in a man who is intimidated by me.” (TedX)
I’m young! I’m in my prime! I’m just looking for someone to enjoy primetime with me, accompanied by an occasional glass of wine and foot massage. But I am also searching for a person that appreciates my grind and the time I have to devote to it!
I am not saying that women have it all together! No one has it all figured out. I just do not want the egotistical, masculinity complex that comes with men.
We love you and all of your bearded, dreadlocked, curly haired, bald headed grace. You are probably bae, but we want more! That’s not to say that we don’t want you. We do!
We have come to the realization that we do not need men to support us financially, but maybe emotionally or mentally.
What moves are you trying to make and how can I help you?
Too often we see women fighting other women due to the wrong doings and dishonesty of men. Why are we fighting each other? She did not physically take your man! He used his feet to find his way and look where he ended up.
As humans the idea of monogamy is all too appealing. We enjoy the idea of owning something… of having it all to our selves. Many of us build our lives around these masculinity stoking ideals when monogamy is only beneficial for the man.
Well, let me tell you…
Monogamy is not [really] a Christian thing. It’s a “lets help than man have a wife thing” created before Christianity existed. During the ancient times of the Romans and the Greek, there were laws against polygamy because higher class men were over indulging and not leaving any ladies for the little guy(s). Basically, Monogamy means sharing is carrying.
Being that there are more women than men in the world, polygamy seems more fitting. It is still widely accepted in non-Western countries, most commonly as men having multiple wives. Nevertheless, there are cultures where polyandry is more common, allowing women have multiple husbands, simultaneously rejecting the ideas of hoeism.
“Ladies are pimps too! Go and brush your shoulders off!” to quote Jay Z.
Relationship dynamics differ, but loyalty continues to be one of the most important aspects of relationships. However, due the to lack of men in contrast to the high demand, men are more likely to step out on their relationships building additional relationships that are also being viewed as monogamous by the other partner. At least polygamy allows for transparency and thus protection.
I am not saying that all men cheat or step out out on their relationships. But what I am saying is that the world is your oyster, girl! There are so many pearls… you may even discover that your favorite pearl isn’t even a man. Do not let the rules and double standard of the Western, pseudo Christian world run your relationship. You are in control so drive boo! Drive!
*Disclaimer: I am not a polygamist.
The phrase “I’m a broke college student” is tossed around like lunch in tubber ware. If I had a dollar for every time I heard this, I would not be a broke college student! I have no issue with people embracing their brokeness. However, I do find it problematic when people who aren’t actually broke say this phrase as if poverty is not a reality for many of us.
What does it mean to be broke?
You can’t go to dinner with friends or you can’t eat dinner at all?
You tell me!
You do not know about this broke life! You do not know about the ramen noodle every other night, life!
Being a broke college student is no joke. For a student coming from poverty, pursuing and successfully receiving a college degree is a battle in itself; getting into college is the easy part!
As an English Major, the cost of my books are at least $200 per semester. I wanted to be a Studio Art Minor, but thats a pretty pricey diploma! Depending on what kind of high school you come from, reading all of these books is an entirely different struggle, one that has a direct correlation to poverty and educational inequity.
Many [poor] students also have to work. I work at least 6 hours a week. Many of peers have a jobs in addition to being full time Residential Advisors. This means they can be working 15 or more hours a week. This is 15 hours taken away from their studies.
Colleges and Universities are [unconsciously] perpetuating a system of oppression by neglecting the needs and circumstances of students from poorer backgrounds who have to work and studying and maintain their sanity.
The ramifications of being a broke college student don’t simply start and stop at not being able to buy alcohol and Chinese food on the weekends. Being broke affects how we work, when we work, and host of other things that more privileged students do not have to even consider.
I’m not saying that institutions have to hold our hands, but what I am saying is that institutions need to give us more money to not only fund our educations, but to help sustain us during this very difficult journey.
Just in case you are still unclear, below are 4 ways to help YOU determine whether or not you are actually a “Broke College Student”:
If you do not know what a Pell Grant is, chances are you are not one of us, broke college students! Truth be told, you are not really broke… just for now. When you get home you will be freed from your college poverty…
Must be nice.
*if you could see my face, we would not be friends*