Post Grad Life: Week 2

It’s getting better!

Moving back to New York was such a hassle.

  1. I cracked my phone
  2. My luggage tore
  3. I was broke!

If you want to keep your sanity, I advise you all to catch a flight. For a double the price of a bus ticket, you get the luxury of knowing that you be where you need to be shortly and in [slight] comfort.

Continue reading “Post Grad Life: Week 2”

If You Love Me, You Have To Love My Stuff Too!

levels

If you’re thinking about stuff in terms of material objects or physical things clear ya’ head space! 

When I say,

If you love me you must love my stuff too

The kind of stuff I’m referencing are beliefs. Too often I meet people who are almost amazing. They’re beautiful and outgoing and have incredible energy. And at first I also think they’re brilliant until that say something homophobic or misogynistic or racist or transphobic and then I’m like,

Oh, that was dumb!

I’m not rejecting the idea of accepting someone despite their shortcomings or differences. I am rejecting people who believe or promote in ideas that are oppressive.

So yes! … While I fell in love with you on the bench as we waited for the bus and indulged in conversation about chocolate, I’ll have to end it there because I don’t want you to make an exception for my liberal ass. I want you to understand and thus be able to also reject societal and cultural norms that are suffocating and damaging to the varying identities that make up the human race.

And so you can’t love me and not accept all the values I carry in my pockets –

Black. Queer. Womyn.

Big Feet Blues: Tips for Finding Shoes for Sizes 10 & Up!

Secret #927: I have big feet!

Ever since I can remember my feet have been clown-ish, long, big. My mother would buy me the nicest kicks but I wouldn’t wear them because they looked like clown shoes in comparison to my small body.

 Imagine being 8 years old and wearing an 8 in women’s shoes.

Up until I was 10 my shoes size matched my age. What an embarrassment! We’re being taught to embrace our skin, weight, height, but never our feet!

la-cienega-boulevardez, The Proud Family
La Cienega Boulevardez, The Proud Family

Thank God for puberty! Now 5’9, my feet finally match my size, but it’s so hard for a girl to find a nice shoe! Most of my small footed friends have the luxury of being able to go out and pick up shoes on the same day of a big event while I need to search well in advance. And Oh! Did I mention the price tag $$$. Having big feet isn’t cheap so if you’re gonna spend a small chunk of change and your long elegant feet, check out the stores below. Keep in mind that some shops may only have extended sizes available online. 

The key to shopping for big feet or any feet really is:

  1. look out for the SALE!
  2. filter for your size, price and desired color to make shopping easier
  3. buy styles that transcend time so you don’t have to worry about shoes going out of style!

You shouldn’t have to [literally] pay because God blessed you in a awkward place!

Banana Republic

DSW

GHBASS

NineWest

Aldos

Asos

JustFab

There are a lot more stores! Google is your best friend! Also click here for some more details! 

Post Grad Life: Week 1 

as I sat in the passenger seat on a 10 hour ride from New York to North Carolina, I felt stuck. Not only because the seatbelt was slightly choking me, but mostly because of fear. There would be no returning to Wheaton after this. No more safety zone. No more instant rebel or running late for work. No more returning books that were 6 months overdue. No more free passport size photos.

My friend told me,

This will be the worst summer of your life.I really hoped she was lying! I was looking forward to an awesome summer despite me scrambling for cash before I head off to Greece. But as I sat in the passenger seat on a 10 hour ride from New York to North Carolina, I felt stuck. Not only because the seatbelt was slightly choking me, but mostly because of fear. There would be no returning to Wheaton after this. No more safety zone. No more instant rebel or running late for work. No more returning books that were 6 months overdue. No more free passport size photos.

Every summer prior to this, I could work like crazy and knew that by the end of August I could go back to taking naps in the middle of the day, wearing chanclas (slippers) where ever I went and drinking on Tuesdays or whatever day I decide. Sadly, I can’t wear Adidas slippers to work and people may even discourage my two afro puffs.

How is a sister going to make it in the “real world”?

Will I be the boss ass multifaceted leader that was in college? Would I still be able to dominate spaces? Am I truly capable of making the change I constantly spoke about in classrooms and conversations? Are people going to even listen to me?

I do not know the answer to any of these questions and that is scary as hell!

I know… I know… I’ll probably be fine and things will get better, especially since Mercury is out of retrograde but right now as I lay on my mother’s leather sofa that is sticking to my butt cheeks, Week 1 of Post Grad life sucks.

I’m eating too much curry goat, bacon and ice cream and can’t fathom managing my money. I’m really banking on God coming through for the kid because after four years of college they never taught me how to pay a light bill or balance a check book. I am just realizing that we spent a quarter of a million dollars and weren’t even taught the difference between business attire and formal wear.

May all the Godz be in my favor!


LOOK OUT FOR POST GRAD LIFE WEEK 2.

Reclaiming My Magic: Letter To Those Who Think I’ve Changed

Dear people who have watched me for years, but never talked to me

Dear people who think a PWI has brainwashed me

Dear people who think I am not black enough anymore

Dear people who think I am too liberal

Dear people who seldom ask how I am doing, but assume I am floating in the wind

Dear ex lovers who think I owe them things

Continue reading “Reclaiming My Magic: Letter To Those Who Think I’ve Changed”

New York City in the Summer

There is truly nothing like New York in the Summer. The yellow taxis accenting the bright colored printed pants and the summer breeze giving life to chiffon blouses and linen pants.Skies out,thighs out!

The smell of Halal street food and roosted peanuts in combination with fresh air is everyones questionable perfume. And oh! You can’t forget about the way the sun hides behind some of the city’s tallest buildings releasing hues of soft pinks and oranges that definitely brighten up your melanin! Yes LAWD!

90s dance fashion black train

Forget the Hamptons! Between concerts like The Roots Picnic & Governors Island and Block Parties, City summers are irresistible and entirely too poppin’ to miss out on!

I ask you to join me on what may be my last summer in NYC!

10 Reasons I Am MAD!

  1. Donald Trump may have more supporters than the #blacklivesmatter movement.PRESIDENT MEMES
  2. People are still defending Bill Cosby and in turn, disregarding and discrediting women’s rape, while simultaneously saying “WOMEN should know better and do better.” Bruh?
  3. There are very few WOMEN of color in magazine editorials, like we aren’t BEAUTIFUL AF.Black woman meme
  4. My school put me on their webpage, but I still owe a balance.
  5. People continue to think that Posse Foundation Leadership Scholarship is for minorities.

    wp13
    Wheaton Posse 13. Circa 2012
  6. People keep referring to me and other WOMEN of color as minorities when there are more WOMEN than men and more People of Color than white folks; We are the MAJORITY! Bye, Felicia & Friends.

    the-map-of-white-people
    Map of White People
  7. There are too many golf clubs and residential complexes that end with the word “Plantation”. Emancipation Proclamation, who?
  8. Too many Black Men dont want Black WOMEN. Bruh?
  9. Colourism in the Black & Latin/Hispanic Community got me like …annoyed facepalm
  10. Islamophobia, Homophobia, Racism, Sexism, Classism & Patriarchy [and other crap] is decreasing my number of friends on Facebook. I thought friends were forever… WELP!

And #11, just because I am extra tight —

#11: People keep asking me why I am single — I don’t freaking know! Maybe I am over qualified.

I am not an Angry Black WOMAN. I am just a Black Woman who happens to be MAD!

*THESE ARE IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER. I DONT KNOW HOW TO RANT IN ORDER.

Don’t Be Meek Mill: Healthy Friendships

Its not easy having a fabulous friend! One that is ambitious, popular and [extremely] successful. There are definitely times when jealously will sneak up on you like a baby ghost. Remember when they were getting college acceptances or got engaged or drop 3 consecutively platinum albums, back to back (pun intended)? I totally understand the secret envy and yearning to steal all of their acceptance letters out of their mailbox so they don’t think they got in anywhere… I do! Still…

Don’t be a Meek Mill!

Momentary jealously is perfectly ok but NEVER… I mean NEVER let the green-eyed monster get to you.

meek5

The sole purpose of a friendships is to have your own little team of motivational speakers; people who  push you to be your best meek 1self. You should only surround yourself with winners… and maybe a few subpar folk for balance. Yes! Sometime your friends may have more trophies than you and better looking feet and 85 hit singles when you only have 28, but imagine how many you’d have without them and them with out you!

Team work makes a dream work! Why break up the team because the line of advice they gave you was from a previous conversation… it still worked didnt it? Why are you mad?

It doesnt matter if only one person on your team is scoring most of the shots, the steam is still winning because of it! Lets support each other and build each other up, instead of winning grammies off of our friendship disappointment!

meekn

Don’t be a Meek Mill! You can be Drake if you’d like or you can just be supportive Nicki, but thats up to you!

If you see that ugly green monster coming… you better stick and move honey… Stick & Move!

*I laughed while writing this entire piece & I am the oldest Meek Mill fan.

meek 3