I hadn’t experienced life enough to make the art I make now. Before I wanted my art to be seen as perfect. Now I simply want people to feel it – to look at it and feel me.
There are some days when my soul cries for some sensual 90’s music. I’m talking about the music that today’s artists sample because it is so authentic and smooth — I’m talking about the perfect mesh of Hip Hop and RnB.
iTunes has the perfect Mary J. Blige playlist! It is a didactic mix of breakup mix and motivational jams! Feel free to bump it in your car, while your curry is simmering on the stove or sing it at the top of your lungs in the shower. It’s your favorite Mary songs that will have you in and out of your feelings!
Just see for yourself!
Let me keep it real with y’all —
If you know me [like really know me], you know that I am a writer. I write for solace, for love, for healing, for fun, for God, for friends, for everything. But to be perfectly honest, I don’t remember the last time I wrote anything.
I made it my duty to buy a new journal in every country (7) I’ve visited, but converted those jounrals into planners.
I guess that was me trying to gain some kind of control over my confusion.
I’ve battled the nuances of happiness and feeling accomplished, simultaneously realizing that I cannot let my success stress me bare. You’re not supposed to kill yourself while you’re attempting to build yourself.
I didn’t realize that my disengagement with writing was a sign that something was and is wrong. I thought I was growing out of an old hobby on this “new” journey.
Note to self: Bull Sh*t! You were just trying to hide your feelings from yourself, but you ain’t low, Na!
I almost thought about giving up on the blog because of my inconsistency, but that would just be me giving up on me! But I decided against it – I matter to me and my voice and presence is necessary.
trying to make making time for myself— diving into what makes me happy, and still on the grind without putting myself through the grinder. Finding time and space for me is so important!
Counting my wins. Glorifying my losses. Loving God always. And always leaving haters on read.
Note to self: I love you, Na! Remember that!
I travel often and I don’t usually get homesick. I like to think that I am so adaptable in the ways I can make any space home. But in between whispers about cranes and magic and Master P’s words of black wisdom, I found my mind somewhere in Harlem surrounded by black people.
I heard loud robust laughter in the distance accompanied by some trap music. I smelled oxtails and coconut oil. And then there was me standing in the intersection waiting for the light to change, smiling. It was weird. All of it…
Solange made me miss being surrounded by blackness. Yes, Greece is an amazing place with welcoming people, but there’s no home like black mother’s hug.
I’m sure the feeling will pass, but I am hoping it won’t. I never want to lose the craving for my people.
So life has been hectic… well maybe I am just getting lazy.
Drama has definitely made its way into my life but I am so focused on sustaining my personal happiness that nothing really matters.
They said that your 20’s are supposed to be the selfish years, right?
I am not super psyched about getting up for work everyday. Some days I feel like life is timer and I am just waiting until 5 o’clock! Don’t get me wrong, I like the work that I am doing this summer and the people I work with. It’s just that I am still grappling with the idea of doing the same thing every day.
Do adults not get bored? When does the switch up happen?
There’s no element of surprise when every day is the same… Well besides the idea of finding money on my way the subway or meeting a cutie at the Chipotle by work.
I would like to underscore how much fun I am having! Despite the routine, everyday has been an opportunity to be extra fly, extra fit and extra fabulous. I am treating my body better and taking it day by day. I am buying my self nice tingz and moisturizing.
I am going to Harlem Happy Hours, but realizing that every hour is an hour to be happy. *Clinks glass!
I am so focused, man! And I am off to Greece in less that 50 days. What more can I ask for?
*I mean there’s more to ask for but I can’t have all of my blessings at once! Spread em’ out!